"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
