well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
3pm strippers are depressing
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
