Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
