considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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