I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
