Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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