Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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