1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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