I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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