I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
