He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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