First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is wine microwaveable?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
