Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
