i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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