WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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