the new term for farting is butt boxing.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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