Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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