Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
