your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
