After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
