as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
