So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
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he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
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Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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