his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Randomize
