Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
