I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
