No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
