is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
