She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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