i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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