im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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