Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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