He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dicks are not precious.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
