I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
