i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
