...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
