Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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