Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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