I'd wear matching sweaters with you
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
