I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
