If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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