carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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