Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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