I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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