Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
