i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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