he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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