He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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