Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need to sanitize my soul.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
