I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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