roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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