I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
