T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
