8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
