Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
