do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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