Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
