its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
