He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
