i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I didn't notice because vodka
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
