I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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