I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
