remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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