why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
