Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
