Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
