i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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